Anyone who has recovered from a toxic person or situation has heard things like “You’re not so innocent”, “You’re no as good s you think you are”, “You think you’re so perfect”, etc. Sayings like these are meant to bring you down to the energetic level of the toxic person. To the toxic (often narcissistic) people, if they can pin some of their nasty energy on you and make you feel its yours, it makes what they did not so bad, almost normal. If you’re just as guilty, just as bad, it gives them something else to put your focus on and distract you from their toxic nonsense. It’s a disgusting manipulative game. If they can involve other toxic people, expect gas lighting as these people are generally weak alone, they depend on outside sources to support their toxicity.
As someone who grew up in toxic and has worked hard to eradicate it from my life, I’m pretty good at handling toxic behaviors when they come my way. The worst thing to a toxic person is their victim standing their power. They are powerless and can not handle that much good, truth and power. That’s one of the reasons they try to manipulate their victims away from their power. Their like the government, they fear those who know their power and wont take their shit. They need to tear others down for their own personal gain and make others look like the bad guy. If they can make you look at all responsible for what they do and make you look guilty or guilt you into taking responsibility in a situation, they won and you’re taking negative energy and responsibility that isn’t yours. This happens all the time, court is a common place, families are another, sending a child to public school is asking for it.
The cure for this, in my experience, is to own it. If you find yourself in a situation with a toxic person that needs you to be guilty or be the bad guy to excuse their abuse or be OK with them hurting you in any way, find you power, stand in it and call them on their shit. Don’t even address any other nonsense, say your piece, stand in your power then leave them to wallow in their own toxic sludge. You do NOT in any way, shape or form need to take on guilt or blame or be brought down when you did nothing wrong. It doesn’t matter if they think you deserve it or not or their story of any part of you. You know who you are, what you do and you know your goodness. DO NOT compromise with these people. I does not always take 2 to create a toxic or abusive situation, it only takes one to shut it down quickly.
We are not sinners, we no not come from guilt, shame, fear , negativity or any place of evil or bad. We are here to learn, love and grow. There are evil forces and people who prefer we shrink into the limited, man made prisons that is main stream society. They work through those who have given their power away to them. Evil does not know what to do with those who know their power. After standing up to these weak bullies a few times, it actually becomes fun, a game. Let them know you are innocent in that situation and you’re not going to take on their guilt or their personal responsibility. You’re that good, own it!!! Give you goodness back to them along with the personal responsibility their trying to put on you. Get real, honest and straight forward. Show them you will NOT pretend to be guilty to soften the blows of their own making. You will NOT deny the good of your whole being and you will will not deny your innocence. Stand in your power and own it!!! This is your birth right, no one can stop you or take it away. Don’t let your goodness and innocence be taken away and don’t hinder it.
You ARE that good!!!
You are that perfect in many ways!!!
You are that innocent in many ways!!!
Anything others perceive as bad is their beliefs. You not fitting them is not your issue, their not yours to fit.
Accepting responsibility in a situation you are not responsible for or taking on guilt that is not yours is just as toxic as the people who want you to do those things. If you’re innocent, clam it!!!Never compromise it for anything, it will never be wroth it. Tell them “I’m not responsible for your choices and I’m not going to argue about it” “You’re damn right, I AM that good!” “I am that innocent and you’re powerless to change it” Stand in your power, make it perfectly clear you’re not playing along and take your innocence and goodness away from them. They do not deserve to be in your presence. When people show you who they are, believe the and act accordingly. Let them laugh, get angry, cry, whatever. You’re not responsible for their reaction, you’re responsible for your truth and power and any situation you find yourself in or people your find yourself around. Their ignorance is not your problem. Their ignorance and indoctrination will keep them from seeing the magnificent being you are. Their too focused on bringing others down, not someone whose opinion should matter. At the end of the day you have to live with whatever you do and say. I find it easier to just be honest, be who I authentically am and stand in my power. I tend to do the most good for myself and others in that state. I think the clearest and am most confident in my choices.
Leave the toxic nonsense to the toxic, don’t engage and don’t compromise. You’re far too good for that!