I’ve been asked this question a few times…why did you name your apothecary “Love of Lotus”??? Well, my first choice was “Sacred Lotus” however, there was an apothecary already using that name. I still got to use it, I named my band “Sacred Lotus”. It’s the lotus flower that is appealing to me. The lotus flower grows from mud, muck, ugliness and darkness into a beautiful, bright, medicinally and spiritually power flower. It’s the sacred lotus spoken of in Ancient Egyptian texts, in their hieroglyphs and their beautiful, wonderfully much more advanced culture than our own.
The Blue Lotus is a symbol or rebirth and death. The flower is beautifully open during the day with the sun and closes at night so the Ancient Egyptians respected this flower as a symbol of death and rebirth and, much like our beloved dandelion, the cycle of the sun and of creation. The Egyptians also saw the Sacred Lotus as bringing together the 2 kingdoms of Egypt, Upper and Lower. Personally, I see this as a symbol of “As above so below, as within so without, as the Universe so the soul”
There is a lot of spiritual and history that comes with the Sacred Blue Lotus. It’s been used in rituals, spells, to cross into other dimensions and astro projection. Medicinally I’ve used it for anxiety, sleep issues and minor substance withdraws. I also use it for my own spiritual and magickal practices, it has a very long history of use by spiritual humans and magickal practitioners.
We all have a personal history full of experiences, happiness, sadness, success, failures, abuse and love. My personal history includes various types of abuse, neglect, gas lighting, lies and manipulation. Toxic people were my teachers and toxic was all I knew. My childhood was full of ugly experiences and since I didn’t realize how toxic I was, I carried those toxic beliefs, habits and lifestyle into my adult life. Needless to say, it didn’t work out well for me. After my awakening, I learned what toxic was, I was toxic and the people around me were toxic. I had toxicity in every aspect of my life…my relationships, family, friends, co-workers, etc. Like attracts like and I was big ‘ol toxic magnet. Then I had enough of what I was accepting into my life as well as my own shit.
Most of my life I didn’t realize my power, my abilities and the fact that I see things differently than most. I seriously thought I was just stupid and that’s why I didn’t fit in anywhere. Having endured daily abuse, rejection and gas lighting, I had no chance of growing into my power and wisdom in this situation. I had no change to grow really at all. When I began to wake up, I started to see the toxic ugliness that was my normal and I began to be disgusted by it and what I let it do to me. Something was inside me…this something has always been there and the reason I survived the ugliness, got stronger and I was left with no choice but to study, learn, grow and discover myself.
Today life is very different because I woke up and made it that way. I discovered the power of my mind, my abilities, I found my confidence, strength and intelligence. Once I began discovering and getting to know myself, there was no turning back. The emotional scars from my past began to heal, I have no more hate, resentment or any negative feelings. I see my past as the shit that fertilized my growth. When challenged, I grow, I overcome, I kick ass and give thanks for the hard times. I transcend hard times into more shit to fertilize my growth. There isn’t a being with the ability to stop me, I don’t allow for that. We all have the ability to not allow that.
I am the Sacred Lotus Flower. I’m the peaceful beauty that grows out of the ugly. I am the powerful connection Blue Lotus gives us through her medicine. Regardless of what experiences I’ve had in the past…ridicule, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, gas lighting, being stolen from, lied to and manipulated, the back stabbing and down right cruelty, it’s all good. I’m not a victim, I will not allow those who have mistreated me that power over me. They do not get to determine my state of being, my happiness, my beauty, my power or anything else about me. That comes from me and only me. I see their shit as good because they gave me an opportunity to grow stronger and smarter. They showed me who they are through their actions and I believe them. It’s not about judgment or getting anyone to change or even take responsibility. It’s about looking at what they have shown me in an unbiased way and deciding if their presence in my life is healthy. I don’t look at them with hate or malice, just at who they showed me they are. That ‘s all I need.
For me, the Sacred Blue Lotus is a symbol of my own over coming, growing, learning, strength and rising like the phoenix out of the dark, ugly muck. Love of Lotus Apothecary is growing with me. The more I learn, the better I do. The more I do, the more I learn. I’m here to tell anyone, it doesn’t matter how ugly, painful, scary or horrible your past is. It’s nothing more than an experience. Honor yourself by learning from that experience, growing from it and allowing it no power over you. You have no obligation to your former self. What you experienced does NOT define you and it can only limit you if you let it. This world is full of Lotus Flowers, those people are my heroes.